Marriage Musings (and other such thoughts)

I know I have only been married for four days (holy crap, it still is weird that I am married at all), but I'm finding that I am already learning to humble myself. Now, don't get me wrong, I am used to doing this on a rather consistent basis anyway since I am ALWAYS putting my foot in my mouth, but this time, its different. Let me explain...

When I was an unmarried man (i.e. five days ago), and even though I had a fiancee, I think I was still living for myself. I wouldn't mind, even then, getting something for my bride-to-be, or helping her out, but I would always let out a sigh of "do I have to??"

I'm finding that God is putting me to the test. In the book of Ephesians, Paul reminds us (husbands) to love our wives as Christ loved the Church, giving himself up for her. (By the way, I find it interesting that Paul spends a LOT more time reminding the husbands what to do, than the wives...hmm...just a coincidence? Probably not.)

I'm on my honeymoon with my GORGEOUS Bride, and wouldn't you know it, she got sick. I'm pretty sure its from the post-wedding letdown; with all the stress, anxiety, planning, sleepless nights, etc., but nonetheless she's not feeling great. Now, I wish I could say that I have been the ideal husband and been at her beckon call 24/7; I still have a few internal struggles here and there. However, that said, its been easier. I'm slowly starting to get the fact that I'm not in this alone anymore. I have someone, a God-ordained someone, to help me along in my journey, and likewise, I to help her. This is no longer a solo performance but a duet; each player doing everything they can to build up the other. So even though I want SO bad to go explore Disneyland and all the amazing things within, I know two things: 1) I won't have any fun if Rainbow isn't with me; and 2) The only thing I want to do is to make sure that she's ok, and alongside that: I'll do anything it takes to make sure she is comfortable.

I keep finding that I wasn't aware I could love another human being so much. I love you Rainbow, my partner, my sister, my wife!!!

Musings of Iowa (day 1...kinda)

I arrived to Iowa at about 12:10am on Wednesday morning. Not too horrible except I was planning on arriving on Tuesday at about 5:30pm. You gotta love the midwest weather. :) Anyway, I got here and was greeted by my lovely woman, Miss Rainbow Tanner-Dorn, whereabouts she treated me to a long awaited breakfast/dinner at IHOP. It was a great way to begin my visit. We then went home (with a quick stop at her DeWitt workplace to pick up some walnuts) and instead of going to sleep, we decided to open each other's Christmas presents. Now, I know giving gifts isn't a contest, and I never ever want it to be, but DANG!! I had given her a Blue Man Group DVD, a couple of CDs, and a keychain that said "Love" on it. Not a LOT of stuff, but things that I felt she would enjoy and from what I can tell, she does. :) However, I walked into her living room and saw about six or seven boxes, all with my name on it. I proceeded to open box after box and pulled out many outfits of clothes; we'd had a conversation a while ago where she kept notes on all the things I'd needed clothes-wise. I told her once I was done being shocked at the amount of things she'd given me: "There's no way I'm going to be able to bring this back to CA...I guess I'll have to leave it all here for when I come back."

This was a good thing. It still is. I don't want my visit to end, but in a way...I want to be back here for good and not have this date looming in my future of when I have to leave. I've been here for only a few days, but I absolutely LOVE it here. Me and Iowa...a good match. :)